What Happened During the Hiatus

1. The first draft of the chapter 2 of the dissertation was completed, feedback received from the writing group. Now I need to go back to it and do the revisions before I turn it in to my co-directors again.

2. The first draft of the poetry manuscript has been finished, and has been emailed to a couple of TRUSTED READERS.

I have been trying to process what I have learnt from these two first drafts. I am still a little jaded from the efforts (especially since I still have a lot of fellowship applications to write), but I will try to process those feelings here a little bit.

a. In order to finish, you have to begin.

b. In order to begin (and finish), you have to have a basic level of trust and confidence on yourself. You have to believe that you have something to say to this world, and what you'll finally produce will mean something to people around you.

c. Once you go thick into the process of writing (or making/exploring of any other kind), you will be forced to face questions you haven't faced before. You can avoid them, or you can delve into them.

d. If you avoid them, your work, sooner or later will show traces of that evasion.

e. If you take those questions by their horns, you will find yourself in spaces where you haven't treaded before. You'll learn a lot, your work will begin to attain an intensity it didn't possess before.

f. Your questions will give birth to new projects. You will literally see how one project births itself in the belly of another.

g. You'll find that your training (whatever the nature of it might be) has many gaps.

h. Your projects will demand that you do some more reading and writing.

i. If you take the challenge up, you'll grow. If not, your work will suffer. You'll try to compensate by being extra performative, you'll succeed. Mostly, not always. So it's better to prepare yourself for the hard work than to reveal before the world your holes.

j. It's essential to admit that you possess those holes. We all do. Then work to fill them up. A writing project does both--shows you your holes and then gives you a chance to mend them.

Now, before I lose all my steam, I better go back to that LONG to-do-list I have waiting for me on the kitchen counter.