Updates

The last few days I have spent typing some of the NaPoWriMo poems. Yes, I wrote them all in longhand in a small notebook. I haven't yet gotten to the ones which are really, really bad. But, up till now, I am really enthralled. The work I have here is not stellar by my standards. They are decent--but I did them all in the course of a month! I do have material enough for at least a chapbook! They will need to be polished a lot more, edited...but still! For summer, I am planning to take Anna Maria Hong's workshop on writing in forms. I am excited because I have never taken a workshop from a woc poet. And the syllabus looks interesting. Writing in forms is definitely something I can do with lots of improvements!

NaPoWriMo 2011 Done!

30 poems in 30 days done! I am clearly exhausted. In terms of my personal goals, I have done two translations (one from Bangla, one from French), have written two myth poems (one South Asian, one from Grimms' Brothers), I could write only three poems in forms, and I didn't get to do any historical research for any of my poems. I am forgiving myself, because during this entire month, I was also stressing over my Fall funding, and finishing the third chapter of my dissertation. I have tried to stick to a specific topic, even when I wrote the myth-poems. So, I am hoping, I have at least a chapbook worth of poems from this month-long exercise.

I want to devote the month of May to some revisions, and trying to figure out the shape of the manuscript. My gut sense is that, what I have here will make a decent chapbook. It might be a little too monotonous to think of a book from the material I have, but I will see. I am planning to assemble 32 pages worth of material from here. But then again, I have barely written down the poems in my notebook. I will have to see how they look as more finished, final products.

Now, what I have learnt from doing this:

a. I can write everyday. I can write 30 poems in 30 days.

b. I like the discipline of writing everyday, although I must confess, it's hard to take a second look at some of the poems.

c. I now have a body of work, which was created without the kind of inhibition that comes with trying new material. ( There wasn't much time to feel inhibited.)

d. There is a kind of peace in knowing that I cannot really push a specific topic beyond this point right now.

Now, I will congratulate myself a little bit and reward myself by having a kulfi. Tomorrow is a new day, and a new month!

Where I Stand So Far?

So, even when I was trying to finish the third chapter of my diss, I did not stop writing the poem for the day. There were days when I felt like I am dying, there were days when I felt numb, and then there were times when I just felt too dry to produce anything halfway sensible on page, let alone a poem. But I pushed myself, looked at unlikely places for inspiration, and I am learning a few things about the process:

1. Because I feel so robbed out of ideas, I am trying to look for ideas in places where I wouldn't normally go. Like, another poet's poem. Word lists. This looking for ideas in different places does make space for unlikely ideas. Things that would normally escape my attention are beginning to attract my attention.

2. I had decided, along with writing 30 poems in a month, I will also write on a particular topic. I am not disclosing the topic here right now, but again because I am running so low on ideas, I am having to approach my topic in slant. Which means, I am often writing from shifting POVs, expressing emotions I wouldn't necessarily go near because that's not my comfort-zone. So, yes, writing 30 poems in 30 days is making me push my comfort-zone quite a bit. Apart from making me dig deeper.

3. I am learning to see art as more than occasional creativity. This whole process is teaching me how much I love writing. It is teaching me, how only writing can generate ideas for writing and writing further. In other words, consistent work produces inspiration, rather than the other way round.

Halfway Through

I have written 15 poems so far. I missed yesterday, but then wrote two today. There was a point when I had felt extremely "dry" inside. Didn't have a word, image, sentence, theme or idea propping up. What helped was reading other poets' work, using their work as a springboard. The other challenge was, I did this along with drafting the chapter 3 of my dissertation. So, by the time I would come to the poem, I would feel extremely word-drained. Literally. There too, reading other poems helped! Most of the poems I have written so far, other than one, are free-verses. Now, I am thinking of giving a little bit more structure to the work ahead:

1. two translations
2. one from a "Western" myth/fairy/folktale
3. one from an Indian/South Asian myth/fairy/folktale
4. five in traditional forms
5. a persona poem in the voice of a character I find out through historical research

But I have learnt a lot in the past couple of weeks. Knowing that I will have to go back to the writing-table, gave me something to look forward to.

Writing Poems Everyday

So far I have succeeded to produce a poem a day. Yes, it's a struggle. Like last night I felt like giving up, felt dry, no words or ideas coming to me. But then, I did anyway. I struggled with every word, particularly because I was so tired, and felt so drained. But then, as I said, I plowed on. I reminded myself, it's a challenge I have taken up with myself and I can't give it up at this stage. I reminded myself, even if I write a bad poem, it's still going to be a poem, and I can probably use a word, an idea from it later on. It worked. I haven't dared to look at the poem I wrote yet. But it's a poem! The thing is, I already have ten poems worth working on! I will have the subsequent months to revise them, to give them more shape, to go to places where I didn't dare to in the first draft--all these things that I tend to do while I revise. But at this point, I have 10 new poems, and it already seems like a lot!