Continuing The Thread of the Last Post...

Gave the story a read. Now, I am still determined on two counts:

1. This story, this particular one, needs to focus on the little girl.

2. The whole story cannot be in first-person.There are things in there which I want the readers and the narrator to know, but not Phelna, the protagonist should not necessarily know about them. Because the story itself is based on her not knowing certain things, and believing in them, precisely because she is so young.

So, what seems to me, might work in this case, is a mixture of two voices. Phelna's first person narrative, and a third person omniscient voice which will let the reader into the details which Phelna does not necessarily know, but which are indeed important for the story itself, and will hold it together. I am hesitating here, because there is only so much one can do within a short story, so how will this alternation of voices work within the story? I can totally see this trounced in the workshops, because it would not necessarily fit into the way most American writers are trained to understand "voice" and "perspective." Besides, there is also the real concern, if that kind of cris-crossing of voices can work for the limited space of a short story? I don't know if it will, but at this point, the only thing I can do, is to try my hand at it, see where it goes, and then ask my friends, readers and workshop colleagues about it.

The other things that need to be worked upon more:

a. Phelna's perception of her absent father, and building some tension around that. Make the father's absence felt within the story-narrative as well as within Phelna's perceptions of the world.

b. Build upon the character of Phelna more by showing the reader more about her inner world/everyday world (some of the material from the first draft of the story can be used for this.)

Now, it seems like I have done the background-work that needed to be done for this story, and all I need to do from tomorrow onwards, is to get back to the actual work of re-writing it. I am looking forward!